


What It Means

by EvilPenguinRika



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Don't copy to another site, F/F, Jester no longer has a crush on Fjord, Nott is a huge supporter, Nott is also a good friend, brief mentions of Jester's crush on Fjord, jealous Jester, post-episode 46, this was supposed to be shorter but it ended up being longer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-04 17:59:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17309243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvilPenguinRika/pseuds/EvilPenguinRika
Summary: Post-Episode 46 "A Storm of Memories"After the conversation she and Beau had on the ship that night, Jester couldn't stop noticing Beau more and more each day.





	What It Means

**Author's Note:**

> that conversation between Beau and Jester killed me okay like, bless the absolute fuck I love this ship

She's flirting with a girl again.

 

Jester huffs quietly, taking her glass of milk and sipping the contents slowly. She didn't know why her entire body felt heavy, or why her chest scrunches up in annoyance when Beau does her usual thing and flirt with attractive women. Okay well, that's a lie. She  _ does  _ know why, but she doesn't _ understand  _ why.

 

The blue tiefling looked over to her other companions. Yasha and Caduceus were immersed in a conversation about flowers and teas, Caleb had his nose in his book, literally. It looked like Caleb didn't get enough sleep (probably reading  _ more  _ books) and was making up lost time right now. Fjord and Nott were doing their usual sibling-like banter.

 

“Strong, attractive,  _ and  _ smart? You're certainly quite something, miss Beau.”

 

Jester's head turned back towards Beau and the horrible (yes, horrible, Jester deems that strange girl with really pretty hair as horrible) girl flirting with each other. Except now the horrible girl hooked her index finger onto Beau’s jade necklace, pulling the human monk towards her that their noses  _ almost  _ touched,  _ almost _ .

 

She wrinkled her nose at the scene, scowling a bit before tapping on the table to get Nott and Fjord’s attention. The two of them looked over at with quizzical looks.

 

“What’s up, Jester?” Fjord asked.

 

“Nott I need to talk to you, come, let’s have some girl talk,” Jester retorts, standing up and walking around the table so she can take Nott by the hand. The goblin fumbles her words before agreeing and leaving with Jester. Fjord just shrugged and helped out with a passed-out Caleb.

 

Jester took Nott outside the tavern and into a small alleyway off to the side.

 

“What’s up, Jessie?”

 

Jester was thankful that the side of the tavern had a small window that allowed her a clear view of Beau and the horrible girl. She puffed out her cheeks and mumbled something before replying.

 

“Why do you think Beau flirts with every attractive girl we meet?”

 

“I, uh, what? Oh, uh, I don’t know?”

 

Her eyes still fixed on Beau and the horrible girl, she continued, “it’s just--I mean, like, every time we go to a new place and we meet new people, Beau will always flirt, or try to flirt, or  _ something  _ when we meet another pretty girl, you know?”

 

“No, no, I, I don’t know?” Nott tugged on the flowy sleeves of Jester’s shirt, making the taller girl finally look at Nott. “Is something wrong, Jester?”

 

Jester blinked, huffed, and groaned. She turned her back around and crouched down, not caring about how dirty or disgusting the alleyway might be. Nott placed a gentle hand on the tiefling’s shoulder.

 

“Well,” Nott started. “Maybe she flirts because she, I don’t know,  _ craves  _ that touch.”

 

“Touch?”

 

“Yeah, you know, the  _ love _ , the  _ affection _ , the  _ sex _ .” Nott dramatically emphasized each word with hand gestures and funny facial expressions. This earned a small giggle from Jester.

 

“But we give her a lot of love and affection--maybe not the  _ sex  _ part, but I mean, we’re her friends, right? We technically already show affection to one another,  _ technically _ .”

 

“Yeah, but maybe Beau just wants more. Like she’s trying to find that emotional and physical intimacy that she knows she missed out on,” the goblin paused, shrugging. “Or I don’t know.”

 

“I guess…”

 

“Why? Why the sudden curiosity of Beau’s love life, or lack thereof?”

 

Jester lifted her shoulders to her ears and dropped them in a similar fashion of a child when they’re attempting to act cute to get away with mischief.

 

“Okay, so like, I haven’t told you this before, but like, back when we were on the ship-”

 

“I remember, it’s been a  _ constant  _ nightmare.” Nott interrupted. Jester nodded and smiled.

 

“Well yeah, okay so like, on the ship, we were going to help Fjord find like, the third temple or something. And like, I was up on deck and there was this  _ huge _ storm! And I was like, ‘I’m going to stay up here and use Control Water just in case something happens!’ and I was  _ pretty good  _ at it too,” Jester said, her brows wiggled comically.

 

“I wouldn’t doubt it! You’re very good at what you do.”

 

“I know right?” Her nose wrinkled as she grinned. “But anyways! So I was up there, all prepared and this was like, you know, after the whole dragon and happy ball of fun times, oof, that was really bad. Okay, yeah, so Beau wanted to talk to me and we talked and like. She was so like, I don’t know. Not her usual tough girl self?”

 

“Oh? Well, that’s hard to believe.”

 

“I know right? But it was so different and like--she told me all these things and how she also had a lonely childhood, and that what I do with my creativity was  _ beautiful  _ and, and, and…” Jester trailed off, remembering the entire conversation she and Beau had.

 

“And? And what? What happened next?” Nott’s face was pushed up close to Jester’s, eyes wide as she waited to hear the rest of Jester’s story.

 

“And like, she was being so vulnerable and I could tell she was checking up on me, and that she’ll always be there for me, and like, she said she loves me-”

 

“Wait! She said she  _ loves you _ !?” Nott gasped.

 

“Sshhh! Nott! Not so loud!” Jester quickly put her hand on Nott’s mouth, silencing her from making any more racket that could potentially draw people towards them and their private girl-talk. Then again, Jester maybe should have taken this up to their room in the tavern and not in an alleyway.

 

“Sorry, sorry,” Nott said once the hand was removed. “But she said ‘ _ I love you _ ’? Or like, how did she say it?”

 

“Well, she said it when I like, hugged her from behind because she was doing her usual Beau thing and deflecting and was going to leave so I hugged her, and she was like ‘love you, Jess’ and I was like ‘I love you too, Beau’ you know.”

 

Nott hummed, eyes still wide as she tapped the side of her cheek with her finger. Then, with a simple shake of her head, she added on to the conversation.

 

“What do you think that means? I mean, if anything, it could be used like, ‘you’re my best bud, Jess, and I love ya’ right?”

 

“I don’t know? She was also saying that I didn’t need to keep looking for a friend and that she’ll be there or something, I don’t know.”

 

“Well, I mean, that’s really nice of her, which is really weird considering this is Beau we’re talking about.”

 

“Ha, I know right? But she was very sweet that night…” Jester’s cheeks flushed a deep-set purple that brought out her blue splattered-freckles out beautifully.

 

“Okay, so, wait, then why are you asking about her flirting with other girls? And, wait, didn’t you like Fjord? What happened with that?”

 

The tiefling nibbled on her bottom lip.

 

“I mean yes, I had a crush on Fjord, but like, I don’t know. After so many things that have happened, it’s like he isn’t the same Fjord I got to know when we first started travelling together. And like…” She sighs. “I also haven’t mentioned this before, but ever since Beau came to talk to me that night, I’ve been… Slowly paying more attention to her.”

 

“Oh, so you, so you like Beau now? Or, wait, how does that work? I’m not drunk enough to understand this.”

 

“I think I do like Beau? I don’t really know?”

 

“Hmm,” Nott started to pace around, muttering about using her detective skills.

 

“What? What is it, Nott? What are you thinking?”

 

“I got it!”

 

“Whaaat?” She drew out.

 

“How about we go back inside, and like, you just start flirting with Beau?” Nott jumped a little on the spot. “And I mean  _ hardcore flirting _ .”

 

Jester’s brows furrowed together. “Isn’t that a little bit too much, Nott?”

 

Nott waved her goblin hand in front of her. “Nah, it’ll be  _ fine _ .”

 

The goblin and tiefling headed back inside the tavern to where the rest of their friends were, however, only one remained missing.

 

“Where’s Beau?” Nott asked.

 

“Oh!” Fjord smirked. “She and that girl she was putting the moves on headed upstairs to… You know.”

 

“Oh fuck.” Nott glanced upwards at Jester, who at this point felt the entire air escape from out of her body. A small jealous rage bubbled inside of her as her face hardened and a vicious frown replaced her usual jovial smile.

 

“Uh, Jester…” Fjord was quick to notice the other’s change in demeanour. “Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah, Fjord! Everything’s fine! It’s all good!” She snapped with a huff and sat down at the table.

 

Fjord looked over to Nott with a raised brow, attempting to ask what had happened through facial expression. Nott shrugged, shaking her head.

 

Jester began to take her sketchbook out and flipped through it. She passed by the angry scratches and scribbles she did back when the Mighty Nein were a part of Avantika’s crew, and where Fjord offered himself to  _ please  _ Avantika in order to gain more information about U’kotoa ( _ Uk’otoa… Uk’otoa… Uk’otoa… _ ). A brief moment of sourness rose inside of her before pushing those drawings away and to a new, blank, page.

 

She started to push her pencil down onto the paper, leaving marks that were incredibly visible on the page behind. She was hyperfocused on damaging the page in front of her with nasty scribbles and drawings of the horrible girl getting smacked in the face with her Spiritual Lollipop and Pocket Unicorns. Strings of curse words and small comments rolled off her tongue as she moved onto the next page to deface.

  
  
  
  
  


 

 

“Hey, Jester…”

 

“What?” She snapped up and immediately realized that barely anyone was in the tavern anymore and that most of her compatriots were not at the table. “Oh… What happened? Where did everybody go?”

 

Fjord scratched the back of his head, eyes squinted towards the stairs that lead up towards the rooms. “Uh, it’s late and everyone decided to head up to rest.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Silence.

 

“I’m going to head up… Don’t stay up too late.”

 

Jester nodded, still surprised that she was doodling for  _ that  _ long that she didn’t even realize all her friends went to sleep. “Yeah, okay. Night, Fjord.”

 

“Night.”

 

The half-orc hesitated for a millisecond but turned and headed towards the stairs. Jester remained seated, blanking out as she looked down at the five crinkled and slightly torn pages in her sketchbook. All of which were sketches of the horrible girl being mauled (there were a few drawings of Jester carrying Beau bridal style, which made the tiefling girl blush). She closed her book, tucked it away onto her person, and figured it was best to sleep off this jealousy.

 

As if on autopilot (or maybe it was the Traveller’s doing), she went up the stairs and found herself standing before the door that led to the room she and Beau shared. She doesn’t make a move. She doesn’t make a sound. She just stares at the doorknob, wondering if Beau would be in the room. If Beau would be sleeping in her bed. Or if Beau was in another room, spending time with another person, the  _ horrible girl _ .

 

Her tail swished back and forth, slightly grazing the wooden boards of the floor. There was barely any light down the hallway except for the wall scones that it cast a dark gloomy shadow over the door. It was perfectly placed for Jester to just stare off. It was like looking deep into herself, to the emotions that she never felt comfortable or confident in showing that wasn’t her usual happy persona. Sure, Beau told her that she would be fine if Jester showed more than one emotion, and it was really validating. She appreciated the human for acknowledging and not being judgemental about it.

 

But…

 

“Jester?”

 

A small breathy gasp escaped her lips and she turned to her right and saw Beau, dishevelled and full of  _ marks _ (oh, she knew  _ exactly  _ what kind of marks those were).

 

“Hiiii, Beauuu…” She drags out each word awkwardly while giving the other a tiny wave.

 

“I thought you already went to bed?”

 

“Nope, I was, you know…” She started twiddling with the hem of her capelet. “Talking to the Traveller and spreading his amazing awesomeness around to people and stuff.”

 

Beau nodded and smirked.

 

“Did-did you just uh, come back from some more mysterious fighting?” Jester asked, trying to ease out of this uncomfortable gut-wrenching feeling she was being dragged into. “Did you win?”

 

The smirk grew wider that Jester could see Beau’s teeth.

 

“Yeah. I guess you could say that.”

 

Jester frowned for but a second before it was replaced with a forced smile. She reached her hand out onto the doorknob and opened it.

 

“Well! Then you should really ‘ought to sleep, Beau! Rest is very important you know.”

 

“Yeah, yeah it is.”

 

The two of them stepped inside with the silence between them as they went about getting prepared for bed. Beau was quick with getting ready since she didn’t have a lot of things she needed to do. Jester took her time, waiting for the human girl to head off before she called it a day. She looked over at Beau, who turned towards the wall, her back facing the tiefling. Jester felt a sense of calm and longing when she watched Beau sleep. It was a little creepy, yes, but after watching her flirt with the horrible girl and found out they had  _ slept  _ together ( _ shudder _ ), she couldn’t help but want to place a hold on her. To wrap her arms around her. To leave kisses all over her face.

 

Jester groaned inwardly and flung herself into bed, throwing the covers on top of her. She was falling in  _ deep _ . Probably the same level of deep she felt with Fjord. Back before Beau had a talk with her on the Ball Eater.

 

“Why is having crushes so hard,” she moaned quietly.

  
  
  
  
  


 

 

The next morning, Jester was already up. She couldn’t sleep a wink last night with all her thoughts, fantasies, and mild (ha,  _ mild _ ) jealousy that raged in her mind. Her eyelids were heavy, she was certain she had nasty bags under her eyes, and she’s positive that Beau was  _ flirting  _ with that horrible girl,  _ again _ !

 

Didn’t they fuck last night? Wasn’t that enough?  _ Shouldn’t _ that be enough?

 

She was tired, moody, and admittedly jealous. She just stared at Beau and the horrible girl--who had now brushed her fingers against Beau’s toned arm.

 

“Jester?”

 

Ugh! Why is she even touching her arm like that! Also, she’s leaning way too close to Beau that she can  _ clearly  _ see the horrible girl was trying to show off cleavage! Again, they  _ fucked each other last night _ , that should have been enough, right? To have sated their thirst. To have satisfied their horny needs?

 

“Jester?”

 

Oh great. Now the horrible girl leaned even  _ more  _ in towards Beau that her lips were  _ right next to her ear _ ! Beau looked awkward and was blushing now. Fucking  _ great _ .

 

“Jester?”

 

“What?” She snapped.

 

“You’ve been glaring at Beau and that girl for like, thirty minutes, are you okay?”

 

She looked down and saw the worry and raised brows from Nott. Jester blinked. She looked from Beau and the horrible girl, and back to Nott.

 

“Oh, sorry Nott. I’m just, you know, tired. I couldn’t really sleep last night.” She explained. Jester noticed Nott looking over at Beau.

 

“Is it because of Beau and her  _ new beau _ .” Nott laughed at her own pun.

 

“Noo… Maybe… Ugh! Okay, fine! You caught me. Yes!” She threw her hands up.

 

Jester felt Nott’s tiny goblin hands pat her shoulder.

 

“Remember our conversation from last night?”

 

“Mm…?”

 

“Well, get over there and show that other girl that you’re better than her for Beau!”

 

“But what am I even going to say, Nott?”

 

“I don’t know. Just flirt with Beau or something. Oh! Maybe laugh at everything Beau says!”

 

Jester furrowed her brow. “I don’t know, Nott.”

 

“It’ll be fine! Just, do your usual Jester thing and turn up the charm! You’re very charming!”

 

“I am pretty charming, you’re right Nott.” Jester giggled. “Okay! I’m going over there, wish me luck, Nott!”

 

“Good luck, Jessie!”

 

As Jester marched on over towards Beau (and the horrible girl), her usual smile danced upon her lips and her eyes locked onto the monk. Her heart thumped loudly in her ears, but she knew she had this in the bag! She was the daughter of The Ruby of the Sea! She  _ knows  _ what to do.

 

“Oh, hey Jester,” Beau greeted with a smile. Jester unconsciously gnawed at her bottom lip when Beau looked at her. Her chest bubbled with excitement knowing that her friend, her  _ crush _ (oh my gosh she couldn’t believe she was her crush now), was looking  _ at her _ made her feel way too many emotions.

 

“Heyyy, Beauuu,” Jester dragged. Her smile widened until she was showing off her toothy fangs. Her eyes quickly glanced over to the horrible girl and saw that she was scowling at Jester. The blue tiefling internally smirked because she knew that as Beau’s friend, she would be the one to walk away from this conversation with Beau. It was a no-brainer.

 

“What ah, what brings you here?” Beau asked.

 

“Oh! Well, you know. We haven’t like, hung out in a while since we got here and like, the others are also  _ really  _ missing you too, you know.” Jester nodded. Beau quirked a brow and smirked.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Mmmhm,” Jester sounded.

 

“Beau, you were about to tell me about the time you became a pirate?”

 

Jester watched as the horrible girl started to lean against Beau’s arm, using her boobs to catch the human’s attention. Jester seethed and clicked her tongue when the horrible girl’s plan actually worked.

 

“I-I yeah, yeah, I was, yeah. Uhhh.” Beau blinked, trying hard not to stare at the obvious cleavage the horrible girl was showing off.

 

No, she couldn’t let her win. So Jester lunged herself at Beau, pretending to lose her balance. Thankfully, with Beau’s quick reflexes, caught Jester.

 

“You okay, Jessie?”

 

Jester blanked. Beau was holding her pretty close and holy moly this was  _ exactly  _ like how things go in romance books (like Tusk Love, except her Oskar was now Beau).

 

“Jester?” Beau asked again. This seemed to have snapped her out of her trance.

 

“Oh, Beau!” She exclaimed and wrapped her arms around Beau’s neck. “Thank you so much for catching me! You’re  _ so  _ awesome! The greatest!”

 

Beau chuckled. “You’re welcome?”

 

Jester, still with her arms around Beau, nuzzled even closer to Beau. Her head resting against her shoulder, but she made sure that her horns didn’t accidentally bump into Beau. She watched as the horrible girl was red in the face with anger and stormed off, clearly annoyed that Beau’s attention was not on her anymore. Jester did a small victory dance inside her head and made a mental note to herself to draw this exact scene in her sketchbook later.

 

“Macy?” Beau looked over and saw that the horrible girl (Jester refuses to use her name) had left. However, Beau just sighs dejectedly and shrugged it off with a measly smile.

 

“You okay, Beau?” Jester asked, hoping to everything that was good in the world that Beau didn’t actually have strong feelings towards the horrible girl.

 

“Yeah, it’s whatever though. I had a pretty good time last night so it’s honestly fine. But are  _ you  _ okay?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Mmm…” Beau squinted, trying to get a good read on Jester. But she ultimately shook her head and muttered a ‘nevermind’.

 

Both of them just stayed there in their positions. Jester knew that she should probably release Beau, but she really didn’t want to leave the monk’s side. She  _ liked  _ being this close to her. She liked how safe and delighted she felt when she was near Beau. Although, Jester noticed that Beau was fidgeting and probably a tad uncomfortable in this position. She was pretty much in between Beau’s legs, and she was positive that some of the patrons of the tavern were staring at them. Jester decided that she’d pluck up the courage to say her little spiel before she fled.

 

“Hey, Beau,” Jester started, her voice quiet.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“You’re really awesome, you know that?”

 

Beau scoffed and smirked, looking away from Jester with a small blush.

 

“I’m really glad that to have known you and that you’re in my life,” Jester said. Her heartbeat was louder now and clouding her thoughts. Her body just impulsively reacted as her lips touched the corner of Beau’s (attractive) smirk. She felt Beau stiffen but that didn’t bother her. Jester only smiled, released her arms, and skipped back to the rest of The Mighty Nein. While she left, she was clearly able to hear Beau whisper something.

 

“What does that mean…?”


End file.
